RIP Nintendo Power

Good night, sweet prince.

Peter Molyneux

In an interview with RPS, Peter Molyneux delivered some measure of temporary respite to those of us who beloved many of his previous games, such as Populous, but grew weary of broken promises of some more recent titles.

A quote from the interview:

But you’re right. I can’t blame people for not believing. I am going to put everything, every ounce of energy, every piece of myself, every statement I made into this game, because this… Populous created me. I didn’t create Populous.

[That statement was followed by a long silence. And then Molyneux cried.]

Read the full interview at Rock Paper Shotgun.

Link: http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2012/11/22/interview-peter-molyneux-on-curiositys-failings-godus/

Hilarious video of Hitman: Absolution causing a shitstorm among fans of the series

As much as I love the Hitman series, interviews from the developers leading up to the release of the newest in the series, Hitman: Absolution, have painted the game rather poorly to hardcore fans of the series. The game is expected to be much more linear, scripted, and more forgiving than previous games; all of which are antithetical to the core design of the previous titles.

I will not recount all that has been said leading thus far, as the release is imminent anyway, but a recent video is causing quite a bit of drama among fans of the series. It rather mockingly shows the assassination of a character through a series of quick time events, where Agent 47 reveals his face to an audience of people, and still walks out with the highest ranking possible.

Judge the game for yourself on release, but I revel in this sort of drama. Watch the video -- it's quite amusing.

Link to video.

Spike's Video Game Awards are fucking terrible

Guess who?

Well, it's that time of the year I guess. Spike has opened voting on their Video Game Awards and, as such, has revealed their nominees. Let's do a rundown of some of their choices, shall we?

This won't be exhaustive, just some preliminary things I noticed.

GAME OF THE YEAR
Asscreed 3 - terrible
Dishonored
Journey
Ass Effect 3 - so bad it literally ruined the franchise
The Walking Dead

BEST XBOX 360 GAME
Asscreed 3 - multiplat and terrible
Borederlands 2 - multiplat and terrible
Dishonored - multiplat
Halo 4 - the only 360 exclusive nominated

BEST PS3 GAME
Asscreed 3 - multiplat and terrible
Borederlands 2 - multiplat and terrible
Dishonored - multiplat
Journey - only PS3 exclusive nominated

BEST WII/WII-U GAME
New Super Mario Bros. U - not released yet
The Last of Us
Xenoblade Chronicles - no complaints, potentially GOTY for me
ZombiU - not released yet

BEST PC GAME
Diablo 3 - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Guild Wars 2
Torchlight 2
XCOM: Enemy Unknown - multiplat

BEST SHOOTER
Borederlands 2 - emphasis on the "bored"
Call of Duty: Black Ops II - you probably can guess my opinion on this
Halo 4 - slow console shooter
Max Payne 3 - killed the franchise

Notice: no PC shooters. No Natural Selection II. Not even Tribes: Ascend, or Spec Ops: The Line, which essentially told the video game industry what a bunch of twats they were being by dumbing down and glorifying warfare in these modern military shooters.

BEST DLC oxymoron amirite?
Dawnguard - Skyrim
Leviathan - Mass Effect 3
Mechromancer Pack - Borderlands 2
Perpetual Testing Initiative - Portal 2 - the only one that's free

I don't know if I should laugh or cry that this is even a category.

Games that they missed:
Faster than Light
Tribes: Ascend
Awesomenauts
Legend of Grimrock
Hotline: Miami
Spec Ops: The Line
La-Mulana

All these games are miles better than many of the others on their lists.

I always derive a perverse pleasure from witnessing the annual spectacle of the VGAs collectively giving fellatio to big name developers (Mass Effect 3 is potentially game of the year -- really?), so I eagerly await the results of their little popularity contest. I know this should be beneath me, but, well -- I can't help myself.

(Spoilers) My Prediction for how The Walking Dead will end

As the final episode of The Walking Dead nears release, I thought I would make an attempt to spoil the game by giving my speculation as to how the game will end.

I have no advanced knowledge, nothing has been leaked (as far as I know), nor do I have any connection with Telltale Games. This is just purely how I, as a writer, think that it would be best to end the game, taking into consideration all of the plot buildup and development thus far.

First, the ending.

Lee will not survive the bite, but I do believe he will essentially find and save Clementine. However, a series of events will isolate him with her, and she will be with him as the life finally fades away from him.

Clementine will be forced to shoot and kill Lee as he turns into a zombie. Whether or not she is capable of doing it will depend on what the player taught her thus far in the story, and being sufficiently soft with Clementine will probably result in a zombified Lee killing her. This will tie together the overall narrative of Lee's relationship with Clementine and give a suggestion as to what kind of person Clementine will become.

It would be a nice touch if the game recalled Lee training Clementine how to use a gun as she aims the pistol at the ailing Lee.

Good, don't lock your elbows.
Squeeze the trigger smoothly, and I'll cover your ears.
Nice and easy.
Bang.

The final memories Lee will recall as he dies.

And thus will end the story of Lee.

I can't speculate much as to the other parts of the story. There will, of course, have to be a major conflict introduced; I think it will likely be centered around the mysterious man who watched Lee bury the zombie child and the person who was talking to Clementine on her walkie talkie. I believe these are likely the same people.

Furthermore, I think this is likely Crawford, the despot who was presumably disposed of sometime before the last episode. This, however, is a somewhat controversial opinion, because a lot of fans seem to think that Crawford was the zombie hung in the bell tower who grabs Ben. My reasoning for this is simply that they have some resemblance to each other, and it was hinted that the "mystery man" was following you through Crawford, suggesting that he was familiar with the area and that the survivors there were turned to zombies.

This is pretty weak, however -- and I'll fully admit that. Thus, I don't hold to it as a strong opinion. Furthermore, from a writing standpoint, there isn't much of a good reason to move the plot forward this way except to tie up a lot of the lose ends in a unified way.

Crawford? Walkie Talkie guy? One in the same?

Another potential source of conflict is the zombie horde that we escaped from via the train in Episode 3. I wouldn't be surprised if they catch up the survivors in Savannah.

Anyway, those are my predictions. Some are pretty weak, I'll admit, but I promise to keep this up even if I'm proven horribly wrong.

Also, if you haven't bought this game yet, GO BUY IT NOW. It's one of the few good games released this year, and Telltale deserve support.

All Hail King Dewritos the Beneficent, Bringer of the Halos

Video game “journalism” drama -- and if I could make those quotation marks the size of the collective irrelevancy to actual journalism by those who claim to conduct it in this industry, I would -- is so hilarious to me that I must confess to deriving a small amount of carnal satisfaction from these whole ordeals. It is especially salacious when we get photo-ops of journalists with conspicuously placed products. So lewd!

The most recent scandal we have been privy to is the dismissal of Eurogamer’s Robert Florence amidst threats of libel. This has sparked an almost philosophical discussion about the nature of bias in journalism, especially when subject to certain economic or institutional constraints.

I intend to cover the topic of bias in journalism at a later time, but for now I would simply like to take a moment to clarify my point of view with regards to bias in the content that I create.

Basically, I’m going to be biased as fuck. I don’t care. But I will always be up front about it, and will disclose any relationships I have with developers or other commercial interests (i.e. none -- probably ever).

I’m of the opinion that readers of those who review video games generally come back because they appreciate, and tend to agree with, the reviewer’s analysis. So, in that respect, I will at least attempt to remain honest and consistent, even if I can be a bit polemic sometimes.

That is all.

Maybe a bit too critical

The name of this blog comes from a quip a friend of mine charged against me, namely that I was "incapable of feeling the sensation of fun" with regards to video games.

This is generally true. I can't stand the thought of someone else having fun with video games. Disgusting.

So herein you will find overly critical and cynical analysis of video games... on a good day, that is -- I may otherwise simply be compelled to call a game shit and chide you all for playing it.